Soledad

I still enjoyed “One Hundred Years of Solitude” by Gábriel Garciá Marquez when my sister, Ajeng entered my room. She take a sit in my bed. Knowing  I enjoyed my reading, she said that she want to talk to me.

“Dear, do you feel that we have lost our time much?"

Hearing that, I closed my book then  sit besides her.

"Sometimes I feel there is someone being gap between us. Is it right honey?” She continue her speaking.

“ We don't have much time to share anymore. Even just to talk around the bush. We almost haven’t time my dear”

“Sista, what’s on earth exactly?" I ask

“I just want you to tell me what do you think  about us now”

“Sist, I just want to see your happiness. It is enough for me." I said.

My sister looked up into my eyes. She try to dig up words to declare something such burden from the bottom of her heart. I can feel that she being speechless to talk to me.

“Sista, give me sorry to my words."

She gives her smile as the answer. She asked me to continue my speaking.


Then I continue my sentence, “sista, I still remember our past four years, I give you permission when you tell me that there is a men want to give happiness for you."

I take a breath in a moment. I stop my words, see my sister in a moment, then continued my words.

“I think you have known about him, who are him, including his personality. So I give my permission to you. As I told you before,  I’m on your path even though honestly I didn’t like him. I love you sista, I don’t want something hurt you, even your husband.”  I said.

“Honey, I know and realize it’s wrong. But am I wrong if I try to keep silent and wish everything will be better?"

While hearing her speaking, I’m down on her shoulder. I give my hug to her, full of love. Suppose to be her, may be I didn’t take this way.

“Sist, have you ever wished a time machine?" I said while give my smile to her.

She gives her smile as her answer.

“Well.. what do you feel just now?" I said.

“Wish everything will be alright, everything gonna be O.K."

Then her voice trialled off. She kiss me that left my room without a single words. Silent.

Two following days, my sister and I talking about it again.

“Sist, are you sure to let it like this?,I  mean, are you sure to let this condition just  like this? it’s about your new life”. I said while looked into her eyes.

“You know my position  dear, just let it flow and wish everything will be better.” 


I looked up into her sharpen eyes, then I give my big hug for her as big as my love for her. 




Next few days, when I'll take my book on my desk, I see One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gábriel Garciá Marque. Then I smile and knowing without asking why to my sista's decision. It's her own decision to let solitude on her own life.

Lampung, 2006

Try to be a good listener
and understanding 

without asking why